fredag 2. april 2010

You can quote me on that

JJ: You know, love’s thoroughly overrated, Panda. I’ve never even had a girlfriend, look how happy I am… in between minor psychological breakdowns. Sure, all the serotonin, and endorphins, and sex, et cetera, feel good, but really, love? An illusion. It can’t last. Nope.

James: I hate KFC.
Katie: What?
James: Elliot Evans’ parents got divorced, and his dad spent every night in KFC. Then he met this woman, she had a huge problem. So he tried to help her, and her friend got really angry, and he ended up with only one kneecap. And now, his mum’s doing pornos, and his dad’s a junkie, and he never sees them! Except on the internet, and then he has to pay for it. I mean, how unfair is that!?

Anthea: You know, she was four years old the first time she beat me at hide and seek. Four. I was looking for her for hours. When I finally found her she just smiled. You know, that Effy smile that means “you don’t know me at all, you never will”. See that’s a kind of magic. She’s so good at concealing things, hiding, avoiding.

Emily: [quoting] "I see it now in lights - Naomi get to know me."
Naomi: I thought it was catchy.
Emily: Yeah, so is AIDS.

How's the treatment going, Cassie?
Cassie: Oh, it's cool. I wear a white dress and now I can eat yogurt, cup-a-soup, and hazelnuts now. I'm not sick if they let me play with the cats. Yeah, it's like... hazy days, y'know?
Tony: Well, that's encouraging...

Tom: There are people here you can talk to. I am here for you. We can sort this out. I'm all ears, come on.
Sid: Well, we can start with the fact that my best mate wants me to make a move on his girlfriend, who I love, even though she still really loves him and now actually hates me and my dad thinks I'm a complete fuck-up and can't stop acting like a fuck-up and no matter what I try, I can't stop pissing everyone off. Sort that out can we?

Maxxie: I got off with Tony on the Russia trip. I only did it 'cause I fell out with Anwar when he said he hated gays. So I got upset and Tony said he'd give me head to cheer me up, you know? And it didn't mean anything but I lost my head, then he gave me head, then we got deported from Russia and I'm really, really sorry for being a slut, okay?

Cassie: [psychotically, while cutting an apple with a carving knife] Chris and Jal... Jal and Chris... more couples! More and more couples! [staring at the knife] Have you ever been in love?
Jal: I don't think so.
Cassie: Do you want me to describe it to you?
Jal: Okay...
Cassie: Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?
Jal: Of course.
Cassie: That's what love feels like.

Pandora: [stoned] Hi mum. No, I'm fine, I'm super duper fine! Yep, I'm with my friends and they're like so fucking amazing. Well, I guess I'm looking at Tony's cock, but he can't tell. See ya! [Tony looks more uncomfortable as she keeps on staring]

Tony: She's thin. She's blonde. She says "wow!" a lot.

I'm Pandora. I'm useless.
JJ: I'm JJ. With regard to mathematic aptitude I'm in the top 0.3% of the population which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically my communication interpersonal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartiles.

JJ: If Freddie was here...
Cook: Do you see Freddie? Did we invite Freddie?
JJ: No.
Cook: And why didn't we invite him?
JJ: Because he's a fun sponge.
Cook: You got it.

Cook: Come on, Naomikins. You want it, I want it. Let's get together and feel alright.
Naomi: You couldn't make me "alright" if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood in a cement mixer.

Anthea: Love, she's gone.
Cook: Ok, what time's she back?
Anthea: Not till tomorrow. They've gone to some party at Gobbler's End.
Cook: Nah, because... we're supposed to hang out tonight!
Anthea: Is that before you broke up or after?
Cook: But... I bought a fucking gâteau! Black Forest!

Thomas: What do you want me to say?
Cook: I don't want you to say anything. Hit me. C'mon, c'mon, hit me!
Thomas: You're just a sad little boy.

Emily: What do you do someone you love lets you down? Really fucks you over?
Thomas: You must try to stop loving them.
Emily: And is that possible?
Thomas: [Pause] No, I don't think so.

Cook Senior: You're too pretty for your own good. That's why you destroy everything you touch.
Effy: Look who's talking.
Cook Senior: I'm Guns N' Roses, love. I got an appetite for destruction.
Effy: You're not his dad, not really.
Cook Senior: And you're not his girlfriend, not really. You're gonna fucking snap that boy's heart in two.
Effy: You've been doing it to him every day of your life.

JJ: Now let's get down to it. No more evasion. No more "Oooh, I'm really fit and mysterious". Now Freddie: he's in love with you, aren't you Freddie? Aren't you Freddie? Cook: he loves you, yes? And just for the record, I love you too. And I won the race. So: three boys, one girl. It's an insoluble equation, unless you choose and we can finally get back to our lives.

Effy: How was your summer?
Freddie: Not bad. Got chlamydia.
Effy: Wow! Exotic!
Freddie: That's what I said. But then I realised Cook had it as well, and it didn't feel quite so special.

Chris: Sidney, are you gonna tell me what's going on? It's like a fucking episode of the OC in here.

Sid: It's not a nightlight! It's a glow in the dark batman... it's retro.

What's surf and turf Eff?
Effy: Sex
Pandora: Wow, we're gonna have a wizard time in this collage aren't we Eff? I'm definatly going to have surf and turf, asap. Mom says boys only want one thing, so my plan is to give it to them, get really good at it, become really popular and maybe my toes will stop throbbing.

Pandora: I've decided I love drugs.

Rob Fitch: If they're not still virgins tomorrow, I'll hunt you down like dogs.

Pandora: Effy doesn’t do donuts.
Thomas: I see, so what does she do?
Pandora: Drugs!

Sid: You know what, Tony? Sometimes I don't know why we're friends anymore.
Tony: It's weird, isn't it? I'm from Mars, you're from Venus. I do things, you worry about them. I sleep with girls, you persuade them to attempt suicide.

Anwar: I'm young, brown and I know how to get down. What more could you want?

Jal: Michelle for frills, Chris for pills, Cassie for thrills.

Sid: Has anyone ever told you Effy, this whole sneaking up on people getting inside their head. It's not cool, okay.
Effy: I'm right though.
Sid: You're always right.

Chris: I smile a lot. And people smile back. It’s contagious, like a lovely sort of gonorrhea.

Sid: The three of us. Together again. And we've all seen each other naked. Which is... nice.

Cassie: Wow, lovely, no, but I like that you're funny looking it's cute, like, wow, man.

Pandora: We're gonna do twister!
Katie: Cool, you can snort that, right?

Anwar: [about Cassie] I bet she bangs like a ferret on acid.

Effy: You'd give anything to have it all fixed.
Sid: Yes.
Effy: But you'r incapable of anything involving effort, focus, or subtlety.
Sid: Yep.
Effy: Women are a total mystery to you.

Tony: What is this, some sort of retro lsd party?

Chris: Where are all my grapes?
Cassie: Anwar ate them all.
Chris: Oh, well he's a grapist.

Chris: Normally I'd say let stick a bit of hash in the meatballs, but these, they've got a kick all by themselves.

Anwar: I just want to be a trained killer! Oh, and help the poor and shit, on the side.

Girl: Eh? What's up with you?
Tony: I had a traumatic subdural haematoma with motor and receptive complications.
Girl 2: Are you mental?
Tony: Yes.
Girl: I'd still give you one.

Tony: Hi. I'm 16 years old, 6 foot something, and my name's Tony. This is where I live. It's got pretty much everything I need: friends to amuse me, girls to fuck me, parents to feed me. The essentials. I would tell you more about myself, but I'd just sound like I'm boasting, 'cause I'm fucking awesome.

Career Counsellor: You want to be like Elvis.
Tony: No. I literally want to be Elvis. Yeah, you know, sing rock and roll, become The King, die on a toilet. I think it's romantic.

Tony: Sid, Do not start crying!
Sid: I'm not crying cos' you hit me!
Tony: No, you're crying for the kids in Africa!

Abigail: I'll kill you, you fucking flatchested cocksucking spastic horsefucker!

Abigail: We can pretend we're in the O.C. Shotgun Marissa!

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