Overheard in New York

Preppy gay guy #1: They are so nasty and full of diseases.
Preppy gay guy #2: What, the pigeons?
Preppy gay guy #1: No, the children.

Guy #1: I hate to say it, but the guy's a really good actor.
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: I wonder why I said "I hate to say it," though.
Both: Titanic.

Cracked out gay guy: Girl, I like your coach purse, is it real?
Snotty Upper West Side girl: Yes, it's real.
Cracked out gay guy: Don't lie to me. I'm a fag...I can tell

Worker #1, about friend's two children: I like Mike, he's a cool kid. Jake, though, just scares me.
Worker #2: Me too! Serial murderer material.
Worker #1: Yeah! He's probably just this misunderstood, clinically depressed kid that nobody loves because he is so ugly. And underneath it all, he's probably a lovely person, but the world will never know because of two bitches like us. Oh, who am I kidding? He's a psychopath, and you and I are awesome.